Making a Difference in Ordinary Ways

I've been thinking more recently about how to make those little differences every day that add up. Like using cloth shopping bags or a reusable water bottle, both good for the environment. Lots of people do both of those and they are easy. Like buying a pair of shoes that will, in turn, provide a pair of shoes for a needy child somewhere in the world, or buying a t-shirt from an adoption fundraiser. We all need clothes and shoes at some point, right? What I mean is, if I'm going to have to buy a pair of shoes or a shirt anyway, I want my purchase to matter to someone. Rather than being one in a line of thousands in the checkout of my local humongous retailer, I would prefer to buy those necessary things in a way that blesses someone who truly appreciates it. Sure, the cashier and the door greeter and the store manager appreciate having a job and I try to choose my humongous retailers based on what they do in the world around them. I'm not saying I'm ready to give up my beloved Tar-Jay!! But my taking one shirt out of my shopping cart probably doesn't really matter a bit to them and might really matter to that adoptive family who gets to make the last $10 needed to buy their airline tickets to bring home their child. Do you see what I mean? There are so many ways that I can go about my daily business and make a difference at the same time. I want to do more! So, what do you do or what have you heard about that you would like to do? If you know of someone raising funds for an adoption, I'm ALL OVER that type of thing. Add a link in the comments to your own blog or a fundraising site, or a company that "gives back." And thanks for making a difference in MY life! If you want some ideas for your own difference-making, I've got a few to share too, and may add to the list as I remember more. Follow the links!
Toms Shoes
Amazon for LWB  is SUCH an easy one!
Women of Faith Events also helps Love Without Boundaries
iGive if you don't have a favorite charity, I give to Compassionate Pug Rescue
147 Shop

*None of these companies have provided me with any type of compensation or incentive and I can almost guarantee that none of them read my blog, either. I do volunteer with LWB, though!

EEEEEEK! Moving Date!

I suppose my denial had to come to an end eventually. We now have an official moving date, closing date for ther new house and I'm researching plane tickets right now to get us all there. Those are ONE-WAY tickets, guys. Last call for stowaways!

BFFs and Big Haircuts

 Yesterday Goose and Princess L, who have been BFFS since they learned to walk, got their first haircuts. They are both six years old and neither has ever had more than a trim (or a reluctant set of bangs after some misfortune). They had some beautiful LONG hair! Each of them had at least 8 inches cut off, and they are donating it to the Pantene Beautiful Lengths program. As much as we loved E's long hair, the new "do" is so "her." Especially with the included glitter spray. Both of them are gorgeous girls, inside and out and we are so proud that their hearts were led in this direction. Goose already plans to grow her hair and donate again!

Giving Up Dreams

This is raw stuff that I'm just hoping to type out and let go. You don't even have to read any further, actually.

Today I was cleaning out the depths of our master bedroom closet. It was hideous and no, I'm not going to post before and after photos. Way back in the corner, behind the skirts from pioneer trek and my first temple dress sat The Box. I don't think even my husband knows about The Box. I guess now he does. Inside is some reminder of each dream of a child that wasn't meant to be. There are a couple of tiny outfits, one with a frog. There is a little stuffed tiger holding a blanket. There is a little hairbow and a ceramic angel. A piece of OB/GYN office stationery from 1995. Each time my heart was opened to a little one, I found something to hold onto. It helped me remember to pray and it helped me love them for however long I could. I'm probably crazy, and let me tell you, there are many more reasons to believe that. But to me, they were each a real part of our family. For a few days, for a few weeks or months, for a year or so.

There was one who would have learned to drive this year. Our Christmas baby. We never knew for sure but she was always a she to us. Aspen. Our first baby. There was a little girl in China who, in a roundabout way, led us to our Tiana. She made me brave enough to talk to J about what had been in my heart for years. There was a tiny little brown baby boy who I desperately wanted to bring home last year. That was the first time that J just came right out and said "NO" to a child. I was shocked. It didn't seem fair for my heart to be so smitten and for his to be so NOT. There was another little boy, seen frequently on this blog, again in China. For him, I fought and I argued and I prayed. And I prayed. And I prayed. For a year and more. I don't know whether I was the only one in our home pestering the Heavens on his behalf but I did a fine job of it, and a constant one. He was matched with a family who I pray daily will love him every second of the rest of his life. Because I already do. And he was the last "No" I could bear to hear. And so I gave up the dream. I Gave Up. And ever since I've felt like I failed the test that I was given by my Father in Heaven. I don't think I will ever feel like our family is complete but the little stuffed tiger goes into the box and maybe it will be the last little reminder I have to put in and close up. The hardest one for me so far. I was so sure. I know it is wrong for me to ask that these feelings just be taken away. Sometimes I get angry, railing at God for putting these feelings on my heart when I can't do a darn thing about them. It makes NO sense, what I feel and know deep down where there is no logic or finance or reluctance or thought. Just love. I hate to admit that sometimes, it isn't enough.