The other day I was talking with Bugs about what he wants to do when he grows up. He would love to be a farmer, or an artist, or an author. Or all three! He wants the type of farm that grows food, but not the meat kind of food. He does want animals, but they will be pets. His soft heart would never allow him to have it any other way. When I asked about the family he sees himself having, he knew he would want to have at least two children. One adopted and one biological. He did say he would adopt FIRST. In his mind, and in mine adoption is not a last resort. It is not what you do only when you have no other choices left. Sometimes feeling that way opens your heart to adoption, of course. We found ourselves at that point shortly before we learned of Bugs' birthmother. Adoption is a way to start a family, to add to your family, or to complete a family. In our case, adoption has been an opportunity to live by pure faith, because sometimes it doesn't make any sense to do it, if you listen to the world. You wonder how, why, where the money will come from, how you will fit them all into your car, what your family will think, where to go and who to trust and how far you are willing to travel, and really? A boy?? And he's due in June??? Really? A Kindergartner?? In Africa??? But you go ahead because you know your feet have been planted on the path and you have no choice but to take His hand and walk. Adoption is just normal, to our family. And it is going to continue because Bugs tells everyone he meets that he is adopted, and how cool it is, and why. Bugs has always known that he was adopted, and we talk about his birthfamily often. He is proud of them and proud of the way that he came to our family. He is determined that he will marry someday, but only to a girl who believes in adoption. He is 10 years old, and he knows this already. Those of you on his waiting list for the dating years-take note, this will be the first question on the application!
If you want to know what Tiana thinks about adoption, she refuses to admit that she was not born and raised right here in our family. She does know, remember and love her birthfamily in Ghana but she tells everyone that she was born in Utah. Maybe we need to work on that a little bit! She and Bugs share a special bond. It has been there since we stepped off the airplane six months ago. If you ask, she will freely admit that he is her favorite brother. Maybe because the others dare to say "No" to her! You should have seen Bugs the day that Tiana came out of Kindergarten crying. He ran to her (his class was at recess) and held onto her as he walked her to the car. He was so concerned that he called me later that afternoon to check on his little sister. Tiana has already arranged a marriage for Bugs with one of her older friends from Ghana. It was all taken care of before she ever came home. We wholeheartedly approve. Bugs and Tiana are brother and sister. Normal.